This week, ARod emerged from his cocoon of steroids and Derek Jeter love dolls to bitch about not getting to play, startling many of us who'd assumed he'd died of any number of Madonna's STDs. Apparently he thinks the Yankees are trying to sabotage him with shitty doctors, and if there's anything Rodriguez knows (outside of where to get an awesome centaur painting done of yourself) it's questionable medicine.
Well, surprisingly, the Yankees didn't appreciate it. And while Brian Cashman has said what we've all wanted to (specifically, "shut the fuck up, Alex"), the ordeal is threatening to reach I Don't Give A Shit levels soon. Already, Skip Bayless's sphincter is palpating at the very thought of discussing it with Stephen A Smith.
Please, guys, spare us from that. Bury the hatchet. Let bygones be bygones. Choose your own stupid, fucking phrase for all I care. Just don't make us listen to your drama for the next couple of months.
Haven't your fans suffered enough?